Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
