All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
