he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
