I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
organizing the empties. That sober.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
