peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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