dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
