i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
