Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We were destined to go to rehab together
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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