so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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