So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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