The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize