Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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