I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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