There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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