His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
