I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize