I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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