Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
