google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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