Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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