ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
