Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
