i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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