Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
