Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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