ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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