What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
