There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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