If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
