I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
