Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
