doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
