There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
