i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
