and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Enjoy the penises
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize