you would pick up someone in the library
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
