exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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