It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize