a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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