In the future we'll all be gay
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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