remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
