she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
