Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have demons in me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
