You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
