a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
