The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
