let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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