Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think people are normalizing furries
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
