we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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