Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
