just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize