I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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