Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize