i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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