Sry I called you an 8
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize