I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
