Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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