Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
