TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
