this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I will pee on everything he values.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
