if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
