Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
