let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
