I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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