why didn't you poke me back
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
