Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
