Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
