I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
