literally had 100 drinks last night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
