i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
