stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
