I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Drunk is a universal language darling
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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