i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
